Hey everyone and welcome to one of the last remaining emails seeing as I only have 7 more P-Days after this... my weeklies are slowly dying off!!
So today instead of boring you all with the ins and outside of missionary work, I've decided to share with you a spiritual moment I had just yesterday. As a preface, you will all learn a lot more real details about where I am currently at so just be prepared for a whole lot of the "Real Life Sister Carter"
Let's dive in
So over the past month I have realized that my current companion and I just don't click. Not that there is any problems or anything issues, we just aren't having as much fun as I would have dreamed to have had my last 2 transfers of my mission. So I started really asking God why I was put with her because I knew there was a reason but I just didn't understand. I felt like I couldn't relate to her and that I didn't feel like I was helping her hardly at all, but I really wanted to find the reason I was supposed to be her companion. I have been praying and praying and asking and praying and so far nothing. Then yesterday happened.
I have been struggling with some other internal battle and it all combined together yesterday and after lunch I just looked over and said, "I really don't want to do anything" and she said, "I don't want to either" and I looked at her kind of confused because my reasons were pretty obvious but I had no idea what she was going through. So I asked her, "What's going on?" She's like nah I don't really want to talk about it and then I asked her again and she started going into it.
She talked about how she wasn't ready to let her old life go. She just wasn't ready to give it all up and start a completely new life. In that moment, I remembered I had felt that same way. I had struggled with the same thing. When I came out on my mission if felt like I wasn't ready to give up the person I had built from day one, I LOVED myself. I had worked and worked and worked to become the person who I wanted to be and I was so proud of who I was, but when I came on my mission I lost it all.
Then I compared what i had gone through and what she is going through with a room. That before I left on my mission I had designed and filled this room with all the things I wanted. All the music, dancing, YouTube, Netflix, and everything that I really really wanted. Then I came on my mission and it was all ripped out. Everything I had loved was completely torn out of this room. So I just sat and looked at this empty room and thought, what just happened, I loved this old room.
Then slowly God puts in the stuff that he originally intended to be in the room. But sometimes it's only a lamp, and it's the perfect lamp and you love that lamp, but then you look around and it's still an empty room. But you just have to keep waiting for the next thing to file in, and it it's so hard to just sit and wait for that next thing when the room is still empty. But it does fill up.
So I told her this while thing and I realized that was why I was with her, that part of me had just fulfilled that purpose in helping her along her mission and I was so grateful God had let me do that, and figure out that one why.
Then later that night I had asked to have someone re-tap my clogging shoes so I could film my auditions for my team. So I sent them with a member and she called us saying that they weren't able to re-tap my shoes, so instead they gave me brand new clogging shoes. I haven't gotten brand new clogging shoes since my freshman year of high school. In that moment that was God saying thank you for doing what He wanted me to do even if I didn't really want to. So He had a member I'd never met, give me brand new clogging shoes. Even though I didn't deserve it, even though all I did was tell the story God told me, and did it through the Spirit He gave me. He STILL thanked me for it. I don't really know why God did, but He did.
So that's the parable of the clogging shoes. Hopefully that all makes sense and you learned something from it too.
It's funny because all I'm trying to do is pay Him back for what He's giving me and He gives me blessing for trying to lay Him back. It just shows that I am forever in debt to Him for all the things He keeps giving me.
I love you all!!
Remember God is in the Details!
Sister Carter
